- Published on
If I’d known that my daughter had ADHD would I have hired an ADHD coach? 100% yes. No hesitation. Back when my daughter was doing her A levels she was doing her best to keep up. On top of a long journey to get to college, she was juggling demanding lessons with huge amounts of content, homework so detailed it would make your eyes water and the pressure of fortnightly assessments. Strangely, five years later, I ended up working in the same college as a coach and mentor and, to this day, I don’t know how she made it through.
During A levels, we didn’t have a diagnosis, in fact, we had no idea. The focus growing up had been spent purely on my son who had displayed all of the typical ‘naughty boy’ traits and it had been a battle just keeping him in school! My daughter, on the other hand had stayed under the radar and been ‘a good girl’ but as soon as she left to do A levels the wheels started to wobble and come flying off.
Now, I know hindsight is a wonderful thing but had I known she had ADHD and about her struggles with executive functioning: meeting deadlines, time management and note taking, I know I would have hired a coach straight away. The impact of not having this support meant that my daughter saw herself as lesser than her peers: ‘If they can do it, why can’t I?’ And, over time this took its toll on her self-esteem.
Despite all of these challenges, she made it through and I am still proud to this day because if she could do it with all of the challenges of ADHD and no support, just how smart, determined and tenacious must she be?
Coaching gives the coachee the opportunity to sit and talk about how the brain is working at trying to cope with these issues. Better still, coaching enables the person to figure out why something may be happening and what can be done to solve it. It sounds weird I know, but the purpose of the coach in these circumstances is to be the sounding board. It’s not a ‘You should do this… or that…’ situation, It’s far more likely to be: ‘How might you?’ question than anything else. The results of these conversations are nothing short of magic to me and when the young people I support talk about how their lives have changed and how they will always benefit from having these insights, I know I am on the right path to help others just like my daughter.
Coaching can change your child’s life. Let’s talk - book your free 30-minute call today.
During A levels, we didn’t have a diagnosis, in fact, we had no idea. The focus growing up had been spent purely on my son who had displayed all of the typical ‘naughty boy’ traits and it had been a battle just keeping him in school! My daughter, on the other hand had stayed under the radar and been ‘a good girl’ but as soon as she left to do A levels the wheels started to wobble and come flying off.
Now, I know hindsight is a wonderful thing but had I known she had ADHD and about her struggles with executive functioning: meeting deadlines, time management and note taking, I know I would have hired a coach straight away. The impact of not having this support meant that my daughter saw herself as lesser than her peers: ‘If they can do it, why can’t I?’ And, over time this took its toll on her self-esteem.
Despite all of these challenges, she made it through and I am still proud to this day because if she could do it with all of the challenges of ADHD and no support, just how smart, determined and tenacious must she be?
Coaching gives the coachee the opportunity to sit and talk about how the brain is working at trying to cope with these issues. Better still, coaching enables the person to figure out why something may be happening and what can be done to solve it. It sounds weird I know, but the purpose of the coach in these circumstances is to be the sounding board. It’s not a ‘You should do this… or that…’ situation, It’s far more likely to be: ‘How might you?’ question than anything else. The results of these conversations are nothing short of magic to me and when the young people I support talk about how their lives have changed and how they will always benefit from having these insights, I know I am on the right path to help others just like my daughter.
Coaching can change your child’s life. Let’s talk - book your free 30-minute call today.
- Published on
You know the one. Your stomach drops. Your heart races. Your child’s in trouble and you’re not sure what to say next.
I’ve been the teacher making the call… and the parent receiving it.
What should you say at that moment?
How do you deal with the storm of feelings that hits first?
What do you say to your child for the best?
Okay, so let’s break this down:
What should you say in that moment?
Sometimes it is appropriate to say very little - as my friend is fond of saying, ‘Keep your powder dry’. Gather the facts, ask some questions, ask if it is okay to call back once you have spoken to your child. Thank them for their time. In the past, I would have been very apologetic and sometimes that was appropriate but at other times, perhaps it wasn’t. For example, when my son flooded the school bathroom - that definitely warranted an apology, but when he was rude to some year 6 pupils and then dragged in front of the whole class to apologise - that wasn't. That’s why it’s important to receive the call and then possibly react later when you know a little more.
How do you deal with the storm of feelings that hits first?
Firstly there are your feelings, perhaps you feel embarrassed, angry or even ashamed? I know, I went through all three of these and then felt despair when what I thought had worked in the past would work again - and it didn’t. When I go into schools to train, I urge schools to put time and energy into having ‘pupil advocates’ - someone who gets to know the child and the family so that when these calls happen there is no blame or unrealistic expectations. Instead there will be empathy for the parent and a cohesive plan that will ensure school and home work together to reach a point where things can move forward.
What do you say to your child for the best?
There is only ONE rule in my book. Do not undermine school or the teacher. I know this is hard, I know that the impulse to protect and defend is strong and I know there are two sides to every story. However, if you do undermine the school, you are diluting the school’s authority and that rarely ends well. The child will think that home will defend them no matter what and this won’t be a deterrent. Even if you do disagree with the school, do not say it to your child, say it to anyone else who will listen, get those frustrations out but keep it under wraps. I liken it to having two parents - one who you got to because you know they will say yes and the other you avoid because you know it’ll be a no. It has to be a united front to get the best outcome.
Finally, when those feelings of shame and embarrassment raise their heads, remember you are doing the best you can. School is a tough environment for our neurodivergent kids and they are learning through their mistakes which is the most effective way of learning in the long run.
Interested in learning more about how to support your child in school or college? Join myself and Lindsay Rocke (The ADHD Big Sister) on the 22nd June 3pm for a a chance to ask questions about how to support and protect family life with ADHD. You can find the link in all of my socials.
I’ve been the teacher making the call… and the parent receiving it.
What should you say at that moment?
How do you deal with the storm of feelings that hits first?
What do you say to your child for the best?
Okay, so let’s break this down:
What should you say in that moment?
Sometimes it is appropriate to say very little - as my friend is fond of saying, ‘Keep your powder dry’. Gather the facts, ask some questions, ask if it is okay to call back once you have spoken to your child. Thank them for their time. In the past, I would have been very apologetic and sometimes that was appropriate but at other times, perhaps it wasn’t. For example, when my son flooded the school bathroom - that definitely warranted an apology, but when he was rude to some year 6 pupils and then dragged in front of the whole class to apologise - that wasn't. That’s why it’s important to receive the call and then possibly react later when you know a little more.
How do you deal with the storm of feelings that hits first?
Firstly there are your feelings, perhaps you feel embarrassed, angry or even ashamed? I know, I went through all three of these and then felt despair when what I thought had worked in the past would work again - and it didn’t. When I go into schools to train, I urge schools to put time and energy into having ‘pupil advocates’ - someone who gets to know the child and the family so that when these calls happen there is no blame or unrealistic expectations. Instead there will be empathy for the parent and a cohesive plan that will ensure school and home work together to reach a point where things can move forward.
What do you say to your child for the best?
There is only ONE rule in my book. Do not undermine school or the teacher. I know this is hard, I know that the impulse to protect and defend is strong and I know there are two sides to every story. However, if you do undermine the school, you are diluting the school’s authority and that rarely ends well. The child will think that home will defend them no matter what and this won’t be a deterrent. Even if you do disagree with the school, do not say it to your child, say it to anyone else who will listen, get those frustrations out but keep it under wraps. I liken it to having two parents - one who you got to because you know they will say yes and the other you avoid because you know it’ll be a no. It has to be a united front to get the best outcome.
Finally, when those feelings of shame and embarrassment raise their heads, remember you are doing the best you can. School is a tough environment for our neurodivergent kids and they are learning through their mistakes which is the most effective way of learning in the long run.
Interested in learning more about how to support your child in school or college? Join myself and Lindsay Rocke (The ADHD Big Sister) on the 22nd June 3pm for a a chance to ask questions about how to support and protect family life with ADHD. You can find the link in all of my socials.
- Published on
Is it Mad to Medicate?
When my son was diagnosed with ADHD back in 2012, the psychiatrist was very quick to recommend medication. Still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis, having to make a decision about medication so soon felt rushed and, in some ways, knee-jerk. With time though, we came round to the idea and soon after decided to medicate him, just to see if it would have an impact on his learning and behaviour. The school, however, had other ideas. Ranked as one of the leading schools in the Northwest, they pushed back - hard. “He’s just like the other boys,” they repeated, and after numerous meetings, we backed down.
I regret our decision still to this day because by the time we did come to medicate again, when he was thirteen, it was too late. He was going out of his way to hide the tablets, saying he felt his “personality change” when he took them. The attention he received for misbehaving had become part of his identity, and giving that up felt like too big a sacrifice.
Now when I read the posts of parents in support forums, the question of whether to medicate or not appears regularly. In some ways, it feels irresponsible to foist a class B drug on your child, going against every nurturing instinct you have. On the other hand, standing back and watching the struggles of daily life and self-esteem dropping feels like an even bigger heartbreak — especially when you know they’re trying their best but still feel like they’re falling short.
I’ve coached and mentored several teens who’ve experienced major breakthroughs after starting medication. For some, it’s like discovering a missing piece - suddenly they have the motivation to study, stay organised, and build healthier routines. I’ve literally seen pride and confidence begin to shine through as they realise it wasn’t a character flaw holding them back - it was chemistry. Just last week, a young man I was supporting stopped typing and looked up at me in wonder as he realised that the increase in his medication was actually working. We both sat and stared at each other, both of us just basking in this new discovery, the discovery of quiet and focus. It was a moment I will never forget.
And that’s the crux of it: ADHD is a chemical imbalance. It’s also one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there. It may take a while to get the balance right, it may require a different dose or a different type, but if medication can help, why not explore it?
Book your free 30 minute consultation call here to discover how coaching can support along with medication.
When my son was diagnosed with ADHD back in 2012, the psychiatrist was very quick to recommend medication. Still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis, having to make a decision about medication so soon felt rushed and, in some ways, knee-jerk. With time though, we came round to the idea and soon after decided to medicate him, just to see if it would have an impact on his learning and behaviour. The school, however, had other ideas. Ranked as one of the leading schools in the Northwest, they pushed back - hard. “He’s just like the other boys,” they repeated, and after numerous meetings, we backed down.
I regret our decision still to this day because by the time we did come to medicate again, when he was thirteen, it was too late. He was going out of his way to hide the tablets, saying he felt his “personality change” when he took them. The attention he received for misbehaving had become part of his identity, and giving that up felt like too big a sacrifice.
Now when I read the posts of parents in support forums, the question of whether to medicate or not appears regularly. In some ways, it feels irresponsible to foist a class B drug on your child, going against every nurturing instinct you have. On the other hand, standing back and watching the struggles of daily life and self-esteem dropping feels like an even bigger heartbreak — especially when you know they’re trying their best but still feel like they’re falling short.
I’ve coached and mentored several teens who’ve experienced major breakthroughs after starting medication. For some, it’s like discovering a missing piece - suddenly they have the motivation to study, stay organised, and build healthier routines. I’ve literally seen pride and confidence begin to shine through as they realise it wasn’t a character flaw holding them back - it was chemistry. Just last week, a young man I was supporting stopped typing and looked up at me in wonder as he realised that the increase in his medication was actually working. We both sat and stared at each other, both of us just basking in this new discovery, the discovery of quiet and focus. It was a moment I will never forget.
And that’s the crux of it: ADHD is a chemical imbalance. It’s also one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there. It may take a while to get the balance right, it may require a different dose or a different type, but if medication can help, why not explore it?
Book your free 30 minute consultation call here to discover how coaching can support along with medication.
- Published on
“ADHD is just an excuse.”
“She’s putting it on.”
“They’re just choosing to be naughty.”
I wish I could tell you these were comments I heard 25 years ago when I first started teaching. But the truth is, I still hear them. All the time. In schools and colleges, both in classrooms and staff rooms, understanding and tolerance vary widely. And not just toward pupils. Teachers, too, often bear the weight of misunderstanding. Teaching is a profession under immense pressure. I honestly can’t think of another job where, after years of training, you’re expected to spend your entire career proving you’re qualified to do it. That pressure shouldn't fall on the children being taught, but inevitably it does. Kindness is in short supply in many schools. Everyone suffers because of it.
Let’s rewind to 620 BC. Aesop told the fable of The North Wind and the Sun. In it, the wind and the sun argue about who is stronger. They decide to settle it by seeing who can get a man to remove his coat.
The North Wind blows and blows, fierce and relentless, but the man only pulls his coat tighter.
Then the Sun takes its turn. It shines gently, growing steadily warmer, until the man removes his coat on his own. The lesson? Gentleness and kind persuasion achieve what force and pressure never can. And in today’s classrooms, that lesson has never been more relevant.
If you’re ready to shift from force to understanding, whether you're a parent, teacher, or school leader -
can help. I offer coaching, academic mentoring, and training that supports neurodivergent students with compassion and practical strategies that work. Let’s bring more kindness into education, one conversation at a time. You can also purchase my study on undiagnosed girls in the classroom for £2.99 here.
“She’s putting it on.”
“They’re just choosing to be naughty.”
I wish I could tell you these were comments I heard 25 years ago when I first started teaching. But the truth is, I still hear them. All the time. In schools and colleges, both in classrooms and staff rooms, understanding and tolerance vary widely. And not just toward pupils. Teachers, too, often bear the weight of misunderstanding. Teaching is a profession under immense pressure. I honestly can’t think of another job where, after years of training, you’re expected to spend your entire career proving you’re qualified to do it. That pressure shouldn't fall on the children being taught, but inevitably it does. Kindness is in short supply in many schools. Everyone suffers because of it.
Let’s rewind to 620 BC. Aesop told the fable of The North Wind and the Sun. In it, the wind and the sun argue about who is stronger. They decide to settle it by seeing who can get a man to remove his coat.
The North Wind blows and blows, fierce and relentless, but the man only pulls his coat tighter.
Then the Sun takes its turn. It shines gently, growing steadily warmer, until the man removes his coat on his own. The lesson? Gentleness and kind persuasion achieve what force and pressure never can. And in today’s classrooms, that lesson has never been more relevant.
If you’re ready to shift from force to understanding, whether you're a parent, teacher, or school leader -
can help. I offer coaching, academic mentoring, and training that supports neurodivergent students with compassion and practical strategies that work. Let’s bring more kindness into education, one conversation at a time. You can also purchase my study on undiagnosed girls in the classroom for £2.99 here.