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Hello! Welcome to my blog. To those of you who read this every fortnight, a special wave, and to those of you who are fresh to this, perhaps from last week’s webinar, welcome. Each fortnight I explore a topic I feel most compelled to write about - basically, if my heart isn’t in it, I wouldn’t write about it. The ADHDers in the room are probably nodding along with this as motivation for many with ADHD comes out of something that is ‘heart-led’ or from a deep interest. Without that little dopamine spark, then nothing would get done (at a decent pace) anyway.
So, this week’s blog is about motivation. For individuals, this can be a source of aggravation, frustration, even pain. In fact, when coaching, motivation is most definitely in the top three of subjects that come up as significant blocks that make a person feel ‘stuck’. Let me give you some examples:
Maladaptive simply means an unhelpful or negative way of coping with ADHD and I have heard many over the years. One that really does come up time and time again, is negative self-talk. This is a form of internal bullying designed to make the individual feel so low that they are compelled to change. Sounds counter-productive doesn’t it?
To give you an example, it might revolve around insults that they have heard from others that have really stung or it might be a term they hear often that describes them. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline kick in, and for some people this actually sparks a burst of energy or focus. In that moment, they might flip the insult on its head and push themselves to prove the opposite: “I’ll show you I’m not lazy!”
This reaction to criticism can result in a defiance-driven coping strategy that works in the first instance, but of course, over time this can be damaging to the individual’s feelings of self-worth and self-perception which is why research shows that children and teens with ADHD often struggle more with self-esteem than their peers. This can affect lots of areas of life - from how they feel about themselves at school, in friendships, and in their family, to their confidence in their own body image. In one study, almost half of young people with ADHD scored in the ‘very low’ range for self-esteem, compared with less than 1 in 10 of those without ADHD.
One maladaptive coping strategy that really intrigues me, and that I have heard several times now, is the use of background television or music. This, in itself, is not unusual for someone with ADHD, it can be a source of comfort and stimulation to have something on in the background. However, the more maladaptive choice is to have something playing in the background that creates a stress response. Examples include re-runs of ‘Hell’s Kitchen’, ‘The Hunger Games’ and even the composer Mahler’s opening movement of his Symphony No. 5! Just having something like this sparks the stress and the motivation. I know this only too well as stress used to act as fuel for me, but there are alternatives.
The gentler, more sustainable approaches that don’t rely on cortisol or adrenaline to motivate often centre on balance, positivity and breaking things down into smaller parts. But here’s the challenge: when years have been spent running on stress, it’s not always easy to know what to do differently, or how to make those new patterns stick.
That’s where coaching can help. Coaching creates:
A calm space to untangle old patterns and see what’s really going on.
Support to experiment with new strategies that feel doable.
Encouragement and perspective, reminding you that your worth isn’t tied to stress or last-minute achievements.
If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear from you, even if it’s just to say ‘Yes, I identify!’
I’m also happy to answer any questions or, of course, to have a free chat.
Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights.
So, this week’s blog is about motivation. For individuals, this can be a source of aggravation, frustration, even pain. In fact, when coaching, motivation is most definitely in the top three of subjects that come up as significant blocks that make a person feel ‘stuck’. Let me give you some examples:
- Getting off the phone and being ‘productive’
- Getting to sleep at a reasonable time.
- Getting up
- Eating well
- Studying
- Exercising
- Chores
Maladaptive simply means an unhelpful or negative way of coping with ADHD and I have heard many over the years. One that really does come up time and time again, is negative self-talk. This is a form of internal bullying designed to make the individual feel so low that they are compelled to change. Sounds counter-productive doesn’t it?
To give you an example, it might revolve around insults that they have heard from others that have really stung or it might be a term they hear often that describes them. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline kick in, and for some people this actually sparks a burst of energy or focus. In that moment, they might flip the insult on its head and push themselves to prove the opposite: “I’ll show you I’m not lazy!”
This reaction to criticism can result in a defiance-driven coping strategy that works in the first instance, but of course, over time this can be damaging to the individual’s feelings of self-worth and self-perception which is why research shows that children and teens with ADHD often struggle more with self-esteem than their peers. This can affect lots of areas of life - from how they feel about themselves at school, in friendships, and in their family, to their confidence in their own body image. In one study, almost half of young people with ADHD scored in the ‘very low’ range for self-esteem, compared with less than 1 in 10 of those without ADHD.
One maladaptive coping strategy that really intrigues me, and that I have heard several times now, is the use of background television or music. This, in itself, is not unusual for someone with ADHD, it can be a source of comfort and stimulation to have something on in the background. However, the more maladaptive choice is to have something playing in the background that creates a stress response. Examples include re-runs of ‘Hell’s Kitchen’, ‘The Hunger Games’ and even the composer Mahler’s opening movement of his Symphony No. 5! Just having something like this sparks the stress and the motivation. I know this only too well as stress used to act as fuel for me, but there are alternatives.
The gentler, more sustainable approaches that don’t rely on cortisol or adrenaline to motivate often centre on balance, positivity and breaking things down into smaller parts. But here’s the challenge: when years have been spent running on stress, it’s not always easy to know what to do differently, or how to make those new patterns stick.
That’s where coaching can help. Coaching creates:
A calm space to untangle old patterns and see what’s really going on.
Support to experiment with new strategies that feel doable.
Encouragement and perspective, reminding you that your worth isn’t tied to stress or last-minute achievements.
If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear from you, even if it’s just to say ‘Yes, I identify!’
I’m also happy to answer any questions or, of course, to have a free chat.
Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights.
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