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If we think of girls with ADHD as always masking and being invisible, we miss the point.
Over the last few years, awareness around ADHD in girls has grown massively and that matters. For a long time, girls were overlooked because the understanding of ADHD was built around how boys were seen to present.
Hyperactive, disruptive, impulsive and externally dysregulated behaviours were recognised far more quickly in boys, while many girls slipped through unnoticed.
That conversation needed to happen.
But somewhere along the way, the message has started to narrow again.
We’ve gone from saying:
‘Girls with ADHD are often missed because they don’t present like boys’
to implying:
‘Girls with ADHD are always quiet, internalised, anxious, high masking and people pleasing.’
And that’s not true either.
Through coaching, my teaching career and research, I have met a range of girls and young women who wouldn’t relate to any of these traits and instead see themselves as loud, opinionated, demand avoidant and emotionally vulnerable.
One of the underlying reasons why traits like these might not necessarily point to ADHD is teacher bias.
A study into teacher bias in the classroom revealed higher expectations of girls’ behaviour and academic performance than boys. (1)
How many times do we hear the phrase ‘boys will be boys’? But where is the female equivalent?
Does this suggest that boys have no control over their behaviour, whereas girls pick and choose?
If this is the case, the chances of a girl being recognised as having ADHD lessen considerably.
A loud, impulsive boy might still trigger thoughts of:
“Classic ADHD.”
A loud, impulsive girl is more likely to be described as:
dramatic,
rude,
bossy,
attention-seeking,
difficult,
emotional,
or defiant.
In another study, teachers were shown ADHD style case studies where only the child’s name and pronouns were changed from male to female. The boys were more likely to be referred for extra support and seen as more suitable for treatment. (2)
With increasing numbers struggling to get into school, waiting until their twenties before receiving a diagnosis and higher numbers of girls facing fixed-term exclusion, we need to ask ourselves:
Are we genuinely curious about what sits underneath behaviour or are we still punishing girls for presenting in ways that make adults uncomfortable?
If you see your daughter, granddaughter or even yourself in this blog, you are not alone.
Through ADHD coaching, I support girls, teens and women to better understand themselves, build confidence and feel seen beyond the labels they’ve been given.
Send me a message, I’d love to hear your story.
References
1: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01425699995290
2:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9?fbclid=IwAR2o6viv-fldZuPtcNiS4sKw0-96EEy9ozJPuZl-TxUcCZM4vyXr-HJSg7E
Over the last few years, awareness around ADHD in girls has grown massively and that matters. For a long time, girls were overlooked because the understanding of ADHD was built around how boys were seen to present.
Hyperactive, disruptive, impulsive and externally dysregulated behaviours were recognised far more quickly in boys, while many girls slipped through unnoticed.
That conversation needed to happen.
But somewhere along the way, the message has started to narrow again.
We’ve gone from saying:
‘Girls with ADHD are often missed because they don’t present like boys’
to implying:
‘Girls with ADHD are always quiet, internalised, anxious, high masking and people pleasing.’
And that’s not true either.
Through coaching, my teaching career and research, I have met a range of girls and young women who wouldn’t relate to any of these traits and instead see themselves as loud, opinionated, demand avoidant and emotionally vulnerable.
One of the underlying reasons why traits like these might not necessarily point to ADHD is teacher bias.
A study into teacher bias in the classroom revealed higher expectations of girls’ behaviour and academic performance than boys. (1)
How many times do we hear the phrase ‘boys will be boys’? But where is the female equivalent?
Does this suggest that boys have no control over their behaviour, whereas girls pick and choose?
If this is the case, the chances of a girl being recognised as having ADHD lessen considerably.
A loud, impulsive boy might still trigger thoughts of:
“Classic ADHD.”
A loud, impulsive girl is more likely to be described as:
dramatic,
rude,
bossy,
attention-seeking,
difficult,
emotional,
or defiant.
In another study, teachers were shown ADHD style case studies where only the child’s name and pronouns were changed from male to female. The boys were more likely to be referred for extra support and seen as more suitable for treatment. (2)
With increasing numbers struggling to get into school, waiting until their twenties before receiving a diagnosis and higher numbers of girls facing fixed-term exclusion, we need to ask ourselves:
Are we genuinely curious about what sits underneath behaviour or are we still punishing girls for presenting in ways that make adults uncomfortable?
If you see your daughter, granddaughter or even yourself in this blog, you are not alone.
Through ADHD coaching, I support girls, teens and women to better understand themselves, build confidence and feel seen beyond the labels they’ve been given.
Send me a message, I’d love to hear your story.
References
1: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01425699995290
2:https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12888-020-02707-9?fbclid=IwAR2o6viv-fldZuPtcNiS4sKw0-96EEy9ozJPuZl-TxUcCZM4vyXr-HJSg7E